Last night I was out and was chatting with some friends/colleagues about my old drinking days.
I haven’t had a drink now in 4 years and 8 months and I’m just so used to being out sober now, it seems weird to think that I never used to be able to go out without drinking or at least it I didn’t see the point in going out if I couldn’t drink.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be drunk. The smell of wine, once something I loved, now makes me screw up my face as if I’ve smelled rotten fish. I got a strong whiff of it last night and I almost wretched. That smell has so many memories attached to it and I’m grateful it’s no longer appealing.
No denying there were a lot of fun times and I do have some funny stories but I also have so many blanks, so many not so funny stories and so much sadness for the girl I was then when I look at some old pictures like these.
When people ask me if I miss it, if I miss those days, which they always do, I can honestly say “no” I don’t miss it. At all. Especially when I’m away working.
I’m so thankful when I roll into bed before midnight leaving others in the bar – clean and clear minded. Tired but knowing I’m not going to have to struggle through the day hungover.
Hands down the best decision I ever made was the day I decided I’d had enough and that I wanted to live differently, to live soberly.
It’s not always easy but life is not always easy and things were a hell of a lot more difficult to deal with in the depressive slump of a hangover.
I thank God every day for my sobriety. It’s a gift. It’s been the biggest catalyst for change in my life and so at times it’s been disruptive. It’s meant that I’ve lost some things that were once dear to me, that there are now some people who I can no longer be around, some friendships that have just changed because I’m not the same person to them and they are not the same people to me, but I’ve gained so much more than that. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.